Feb. 21st, 2013 09:01 pm
[personal profile] wickdzoot
Dar Williams sings a song called 'February', and you know, it works, even if we don't have the snow or sleet here. February, as a month, has lost even the limited appeal it had for me as the year's shortest month since last year.

But we made it through the year anniversary of Mom's loss, and so far, we're all still here and as well as can be expected. Mouse, after six or seven weeks of being on and off medication to stop or slow down premature labour, has finally reached 34 weeks, the little fellow is over five pounds, and the little girl is almost five pounds, and my poor little 5' 2" daughter had a Death Star painted on her belly a week or so ago. It was actually quite good, whoever did it, and it sent my sister in law and I into an on FB exchange where I was afraid they'd out all Sithly, and my sister in law reminded me that Luke and Leia were twins.

Things were starting to get weirdish at work, as I may have mentioned in one of my infrequent postings; our PMO started that 'we're going to more with less' shit, and after four layoffs in eight years, I could smell the char in the air. So, I'm back on contract and hilariously, back where I was when I first got here. Two of the contract QA leads are still here or here again, so that's fun, and there are more people who were actually employees who are still here and the funniest and really sweetest thing happened when the PMO greeted me by name and told me it was great to have me back.

I couldn't believe she even remembered me. It's actually been two years and two weeks, since I had stayed until my 2nd anniversary date before waltzing out. Sadly, this means that in the last six months, seven of their most experienced and knowledgeable for their subject matter QA engineers have absconded for greener and better pastures. I am working with two of them in my new job.

Somehow, I managed to get atypical pneumonia in January, which put me in a snit, as I had once sworn to myself never to get pneumonia again. I tell myself that at least it wasn't the typical kind I had last time, and I'm glad about that in more ways than one.

Okay, here's a thought. All those folks who love Firefly and Serenity and the Browncoats? Have ya noticed that your country is becoming the Alliance? Have you noticed that our taxes are being spent not on war, but on assassination? Have you noticed that we have the NDAA, which I refer to as the American Nacht und Nebel act?

It's bad enough that this country is in the toilet, and I mean from a moral and philosophic perspective, not merely economic and political. What really leaves me in despair is that Israel, a country I used to believe was really the only country founded with moral authority, and that was unrelated to religion, by the way, has inverted every bit of that. On the other hand, I think I'm in despair over both countries, now that I ponder.

But that's okay. I have my plan for avoiding starvation in the next twenty years; it may cut things a bit shorter, but since it is clear that by that time, I won't be the only one starving, it will at least relieved the surplus population.

That's assuming that the magic oil pipeline doesn't actually tip the planet, or at least this country over into true desolation and death.

Thirty years have passed, and now Richard Nixon looks like a pinko liberal.

Or something.

And seriously, why is Dick Cheney still even breathing? Hasn't his contract with Lucifer expired yet? Is he sekritly advising Obama or Holder?

A while back--or rather, in several instances, several whiles back, I made comments to the effect that the only problem with Christianity was the Christians.

I tended, honestly, to more or less attribute that to people who believed in the literal truth of the Old Testament--remind me sometime about Twain's comments on the boys tormenting the prophet and the prophet asking God to punish them and a bear suddenly appearing and eating them. Or maybe it was a lion, it's been that same thirty years since I last read it. Or maybe only twenty. But at my age, that's pretty much the same thing.

Today, however, I find myself reacting in a kneejerk way whenever anyone says anything at all about any god, any deity, any cosmic consciousness. Which means instead of just biting my tongue around evangelicals, I'm biting my tongue around damn near everyone. And since I'm not really an atheist--sadly, I appear more to be of the school of, "I wouldn't worship you if you were the only God on Earth" since my anger at how Mom died has neither cooled nor been slaked. Plus there's the whole prevalence of assholes in the world and in our government.

I do remind myself that marriage equality and legalization of marijuana have both been gaining ground like magic horsies, so there's a ray of hope in there somewhere. Maybe I've been heading here since I learned, at the age of sixteen, that there were Jesuit chaplains in the SS.

Although, Pope Gruppenfuehrer's resignation might have also been a teeny bit of hope, I have a bad feeling the Catholic church is going to end up with someone even more right wing than Pope Gruppenfuehrer. Not that it's any skin of my nose; I've even abandoned the Episcopals.

I don't see my frame of mind in that regard improving until reality reflects the old joke about the second coming of Christ, where an angel is sent to give a press conference about the second coming, and said angel looks around and says, I've got good news and bad news. The good news, of course, is that Christ is returning tomorrow. The bad news is that he's really really pissed.

And hey,it's not like I don't know I can be an asshole, it's just that my assholery tends to move in different directions, although when it comes to neocons and evangelists, I have to work hard to grant them the same right to believe wrongheadedly as I would want for myself. It ain't easy, especially down here in the Bible Belt where you have otherwise reasonable people saying things like, "But it's against God's law!" or "Republicans are God's people" (won't the Jews be surprised) right out in public in their outside voices.

I don't even twitch any more, although there have been a few times my eyes nearly rolled out of my head in the effort to keep my head from blowing off.

How can I care so much for the individuals I care about, when I pretty much loathe human beings in general? Frocked if I know.

Happy Valentine's Day belatedly anyway.
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